Can you see that all your pain comes from the belief that your source of happiness is outside you?

Can you see that all your pain comes from the belief that your source of happiness is outside you?

Tools for my sanity

Call me frou-frou or New-Agey...
As I'm sitting here writing the 3rd act of my screenplay, trudging through, racing with the clock, fretting... I have a happy thought.

"thank God I meditate". Oh how My life changed... only for the better once I learned Trancedental meditation from Jeff Kober two years ago. www.jeffkobermeditation.com

I wish I could explain it's wonders but that old adage is very true... "once the student is ready, the teacher appears" "attraction not promotion"

I also love the guided meditations found on www.orindaben.com

having searched for so long, tried so many things... good AND bad. I think I've finally found a formula for sanity that's working for me today as I ponder the meaning of my life pursuing many creative endeavors.

I'm very tough on myself, so it makes me even more grateful for the teachings of www.abraham-hicks.com by Jerry & Ester Hicks.

I was introduced to them via Dee Wallace- http://iamdeewallace.com/ , my love , my mentor. I love being reminded about Downstreaming and how easy, instant & necessary it is!

If I ever start to feel down or disappointed, these techniques always put things into perspective for me.

I also recently got into and love watching EFT tapping videos on Youtube especially MargaretMlynch's channel and have been reading up on Theta Healing more, having briefly experienced a session a while back.

I also enjoy and benefit from http://www.sanskritmantra.com There's Cd's of Thomas Ashely-Farrand on Vedic chanting that definitely raise your vibes ; )

I also use http://www.devapremalmiten.com/shop to chant in the car AND vocalize my voice because I get bored with my normal vocal excercises and it sounds cool to harmonize with her. Anyhoo,

There is so much out there available to us now... and I wanted to share that with whoever is seeking the info.

oh yes and then there's Byron Katie with http://www.thework.com/index.php when things don't seem to be going your way or people aren't acting right....lol!!!

Life doesn't have to hurt or be a struggle anymore. Life can be kind...even fantastically joyfilled as we follow our dreams in the face of a million dream-killers.

Change your mind. Change your life.

these are some of the tools I've found that help me stay balanced & positive.

Anyway, I'm sure more will pop in my head once I push: publish post.

please feel free to share any links you have found to be awesome & helpful, in your search for joy & freedom amongst this Earth plane.

Happy creating your life, Anzu

MY opinion for best movie & acting of 2010 awards

"Haven't seen Hurt Locker yet, my bad...but I've worked w/ Kathryn and I do know she's a bad ass on set...I will make sure I see it before the Oscars, with that said....Crazy Heart was Jeff's comeback film..kinda like Mickey Rourke's 'The Wrestler'.....even though Colin Farrel was badly cast but I can't blame the producers for putting him in for name value even though ,it seems to me...he probably asked to be taken off the promo campaign..PERSONALLY being a musician, .if you're gonna do a film where you play guitar, I wish they'd pick an actor (Colin) who can actually owned it with confidence & he didn't for me...he was trepid in his playing and when he & Jeff were on screen together...Jeff stole the scenes JUST in Jeff's presence alone...Jeff has more life experience...to give us. The director was practically a first time director...I give him kudos for taking a book and making a script out of it but you can see that JEFF was the one who directed himself for he owned the character & it didn't matter who directed him- HE WAS that guy , but with that said, that director will get more directing work because of this film....District 9 was a prime example of great directing...the lead actor in that did a phenomenal & difficult job in evolving emotionally & physically....that actor took me on a journey that deserves a true triumphant award....but English actors can do that in their sleep I suppose. Avatar will probably win best film but Inglorious Basterds really impressed me with all it's poignant depth and intricate dialogue with such layered subtext...not to mention the acting by Christopher Waltz....I have to give it to Quentin..this was his life masterpiece!!. Now... if his next movie can have the same maturity & story continuity as this one does....I will be a fan for life. Paranormal Activity had me at HELLO...but as soon as they showed the Demon's feet to have 3 toes, I thought it cheesed out and it lost me there....BUT it did almost do what Blair's Witch project did and I gotta hand it to whomever saw that project through to the end of distribution to make all those millions of dollars based on a relevant fear that is possible in all our possible lives,.......I appreciated World's Greatest Dad for the honesty, didn't even the mind the formulaic 3rd act...bobcat proved himself consistent in edgy sexual real life situations and gotta hand it to Robin Williams for recognizing the script and for playing the multi-leveled father.....it makes me respect Robin even more than I do. UP IN THE AIR was over-rated and over acted by that young supporting actress who un-deservingly got alot of nominations for over acting..there wasn't a real moment with her to say the least....what's her name?..I'm sure I'll have to watch more of her now since she's in that vampire movie series but....George played himself and it just goes to show you the power of the Weinstein bros in action. For some reason, they have a grip on those 12 judges at The Golden Globe thingy.....bribery does get you somewhere, I hear. I wouldn't kick them out of bed for eating cracker if happened to be inclined to give me an award but whatever,...it's the game & I love this wonderful game......I appreciated the SAG awards because at least it's voted on by actors and not just an anonymous few whose specific names are never mentioned. There's alot of great acting out there...ala Christopher Plummer & Helen Mirren in The Last Station but of course...that only got a limited release at The Laemlle theatres so noone will have seen it. Either way...there's a balance that true artists have to measure in this world we live in called "Show+Business"....tape doesn't lie...truth & real moments are captured on film/tape and the fact that we have an opinion means....we we're emotionally captivated enough to be invested.....which is a WIN for the creators who make it presentable for us to see (bad or good, it's just an opinion)....for there are so many ideas floating around that never see the light of day.....Gotta hand it to the people that are fearless enough to have their dreams and art critiqued by someone they will never meet. I give it up to all the filmmakers who dream to dream and take us on a journey away and into ourselves...for us to experience something different, even if it wasn't perfect. I can only hope one day that someone is moved enough to spend their rainy Friday night to express what they really feel about my movie. Precious didn't do it as a movie for me as a whole & it's not even on anyone's favorite list...which is totally fine but Monique's monologue MAKES the movie and she will win because that was a fricken hard role and monologue to play....anyway, I love movies and movie makers, I love this town we live in, even with all it's BS and craziness....Keep the dream alive, I've learned that we love movies for many reasons and they will never go away even with the technology of AVATAR, where the threat of real actors might be at stake....people want to experience real human emotion on any level...and that's what we pay the big bucks for. To feel. And we want to feel it for real...even with all it's technical & human imperfections...So God Bless the dreamers that stay up at night writing and pitching to the "YES" sayers, so that the rest of the world can escape in those dark theatres and dream another dream. Good night movie goers....

Why blog you silly actress?

As I'm sitting at King's Road Cafe on Beverly Blvd today, comparing audition notes with my actress friend Frieda Jane, she suggested I write a book or create a blog. Reluctantly, I brushed it off and then tonight I dared to take action, for I find myself imparting my knowledge (on a freakin' daily basis) to the souls who feel compelled to come to LA in pursuit of the Hollywood dream. Why Me? Well, I've made every mistake and have had pretty much every experience an actor could have in this town and I have learned alot & because I'm a giver, feel the need to share.
The one thing that I have learned by writing Stand-Up Comedy, is that NOBODY sympathizes with jokes about being an actor with dreams of "making it" in Hollywood. So you will rarely find a comedian who ever talks about it, and if they do...it's hard to get an audience on board with you. Why, I ask? Well, because nobody is going to feel sorry for you. Why? Because you have actually decided to put your mouth where your word is, you have decided to defy all laws of odds and pursue the craziest aspiration known to man-kind. Fame & respect via art in a medium, few have survived.
Most people don't have the balls to do it, for I've heard it over and over again, Why don't you just get a real job? with security? and some semblance of normalcy...peace...joy?
This town has a way of weeding out the men from the boys.
Well, if you're anything like me...there is no PLAN B. This is it, and you're in it for the long haul and there is no turning back.
This is all I've ever known, all I've ever been bred for and I would regret my life if I didn't do it every day of my life. Sacrificed so much to be here at the expense of normalcy, sanity, and a family of my own.
Some people have something to fall back on. Some don't. Either way, all I can remember are the wise words that Edward James Olmos once said to me "Perseverance is the key to success, if you quit today, you never know if tomorrow is the day that the door of all your hard work will pay off for you", for he delivered furniture at night while he spent his days auditioning, waiting for his agent to call with the next audition.
I compare it to the feeling of being some drug addict...always chasing that "high" that "what if" that next "hit"...chasing that fucking dragon that people get sucked into so easily in this town.
sometimes I wish he had never told me that, and some days I am glad he did.
Too many people have tried, so what makes you so fucking special?
good question.
There's a psychological game that goes on with every actor who auditions. It's like playing CRAPS in Las Vegas. Some turn to drugs, religion, bad relationships, & finally therapy to help them get through the rejection that is daily.
sometimes auditions feel like a bootycall. You are always there to show up, and deliver but when they don't call you back even when you've done your best, you feel like shit with your tail between your legs.
I'm here to impart my experience and gathered wisdom to those who can relate. Maybe it will help you on your journey, maybe it will put a new perspective on life, maybe it will do nothing. Either way...my disclaimer is that...Art is life...your life is Art...and everyone is an artist for God/ higher power/ whatever you wanna call it, for you have been given a passion in life...to do as you will to express yourself. By expressing yourself...you channel life force and you make a difference whether you know it or not. We are all connected and seperated only by 6 degrees. There IS a way to find Joy and Happiness inside the eye of the Storm and I warn you "don't take anything personally with these blogs".
If I vent and you don't agree, then you don't agree. I don't take anything personally, you can't, really...if you are
'putting it out there'.
what I have to say passionately is just me being human in the moment, in a world full of life, love and lessons. That's all it is, really. Lessons. So if you're smart, you will save yourself some time and agony and learn from those who have treaded before or after you.
Why do Asian people revere the elderly? well, it's because they've gone through what you are about to. They have wisdom to share so that you don't have to repeat the cycle. Let's break the cycle. Share. For there is room for everyone, always.